


A Little Chat About Death

by femellerklem



Series: Tomorrow You'll be On Your Own and I'll be Right Behind You [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: And a good husband, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Feels, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Harry is a Good Dad, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femellerklem/pseuds/femellerklem
Summary: Albus has a few questions, learns that Dark Lords are kind of stupid, and makes his parents realize how much he's growing up.
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & Harry Potter, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Series: Tomorrow You'll be On Your Own and I'll be Right Behind You [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548958
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45





	A Little Chat About Death

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“Why didn’t they fight back?”

The question made Harry still for a moment, running his fingers absently along the stitching of Al’s quilt. Al looked back at him expectantly from where he lay under the covers, his hair a rumpled mess as he fiddled with the spines on his stuffed dragon. 

_Maybe this isn’t a good idea,_ Harry thought. Al was only seven, after all. And while he’d always wanted to know about his paternal grandparents, he seemed particularly inquisitive tonight, asking Harry question after question, trying to learn exactly what had happened, his green eyes as wide and curious as they’d always been. 

“They didn’t have their wands, Al,” he finally said. “That’s why.”

“But why not? It was a war, wasn’t it?”

Harry closed his eyes for a moment and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know,” he said. “But yes, yes it was.”

“But where did they keep them? Why weren’t their wands in their pockets?”

“I don’t know, Al.”

“You don’t even remember?”

“No.”

Albus sat up quickly, clutching his stuffed dragon tightly as his brow furrowed. 

“But you said they fought Voldemort a lot before they had to go hide, so if they knew how to fight Voldemort, and there was still a war going on, and they knew Voldemort was maybe comin’ after them, why wouldn’t they have their wands with them? It doesn’t make any sense!”

“Because wars don’t always go the way you think and sometimes you end up without a wand,” Harry said, a bit more harshly than he meant to. 

Al stopped talking, his eyes wide. Harry inwardly cursed himself.

“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching out to run a hand through Al’s hair. “I don’t know why they didn’t have their wands. And I don’t really want to talk about it, alright?”

Al nodded and allowed Harry to gently push him back down and tuck the covers around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, averting his eyes. 

“Hey,” said Harry. “I’m not upset, okay? I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

Al buried his face into the fur of his dragon. Harry, heart aching, put a hand on Al’s arm and rubbed it soothingly through the quilt.

“You know what? You can ask me any questions you want. I’ll stay right here, okay? Go ahead. Ask away.”

Al turned onto his back so he could look up at his father, the side of his face still smushed against the dragon’s fur.

“So when your mummy stood in front of you, in front of Voldemort, she didn’t have her wand?”

Harry shook his head.

“Did your daddy have his wand?”

“He didn’t either.”

“But you said that when Voldemort tried to kill you, your mummy stood in front of you and then he couldn’t kill you.”

“That’s right.”

“But how did she protect you if she didn’t have her wand? No offense to Grandma and Grandpa Potter, but if I was in a war I’d have a wand with me the whole time so I could fight all the bad guys. Then I wouldn’t die and I could keep fighting them and _win._ Having a wand’s just practical.”

Harry chuckled lightly, before running his hand through Al’s hair and moving to kneel on the floor so he was level with Al’s face.

“Why did she have to die?” Al asked in a small voice. “Why didn’t she have her wand?

Harry sighed. “I don’t know,” he said. “And I probably never will. I can tell you how she defeated Voldemort, though.”

“I know how she saved your life already,” said Al, rolling his eyes. “ _Love._ ”

“Is love so bad?” asked Harry, grinning affectionately.

“Well, no, but it’s not like a weapon or anything. It’s just a feeling.”

“It’s a pretty powerful feeling,” said Harry. “It’s the most powerful feeling in the world. It’s what makes people fight in the first place. When you love someone, so much, you’ll find that you’d do anything to protect them. And that’s a kind of power you don’t even need magic for.”

Al still looked skeptical, but his eyes softened ever so slightly, and Harry couldn’t help but give him a kiss on the forehead. 

“I still don’t understand how it stopped Voldemort killing you,” said Albus. 

“I don’t completely understand either,” said Harry. “It’s a bit like a shield. When you sacrifice yourself for someone, when you take a curse for them, you give them protection that can’t be broken.”

“But then how come you’re the only person to survive? Why was Grandma different? You said Grandpa died to protect her and you, so why could Voldemort kill her? It doesn’t make any sense.”

“Well,” said Harry, a bit taken aback. _James didn’t ask this many questions,_ he thought. _James just seemed to like the drama_. “What Dumbledore told me—” Al’s face seemed to light up a little at the mention of his namesake “—was that my mother could protect me because Voldemort gave her a choice. He told her to stand aside, but she chose to stand in front of me instead, so when he killed her, that created the shield.”

“But who would do that?” asked Al.

“Do what? Protect a baby?”

“No!” said Al. He sat up again, his brow furrowed in outrage. “Voldemort actually thought that your mummy would stand and watch while he killed you?”

“Well…”

“Why would he think that? Parents always protect their kids. Everybody knows that. Even I know that! Why would anyone want to save one person but kill a baby? That was really stupid of Voldemort, I think. He was stupid and evil and he… he ruined everything.” He spat out the last sentence with an impressive level of disgust for a seven-year-old.

“Yeah… pretty much,” said Harry. “There were a lot of things Voldemort didn’t understand. Love was the biggest one.”

“But,” said Albus, who was now breathing deeply, “but if he hadn’t told your mummy to stand aside, if he’d just stunned her or something, then…then…”

“Hey,” said Harry, immediately moving to sit next to Albus and pull him into a tight hug. “Don’t think like that, okay? I’m here.” Albus nodded into his dad’s shirt, and Harry kissed the top of his head, burying his face in Al’s unruly hair.

“It’s all a bit scary, isn’t it?” Harry said after a few moments. Al nodded again.

“I just…” he started to speak, then trailed off, holding to Harry even tighter. Harry didn’t know what Al had been about to say, but he recognized the seeds of that indignance, those slivers of hopelessness and fear, the rage towards the idea that such evil and hate could exist in the world. He felt the same way, and recognizing that was perhaps more gut-wrenching than anything.

Albus felt so small tucked away in his arms, so Harry held him tighter.

“It’s past your bedtime,” he finally said, as Al began to feel heavy against him. He helped Al back under the covers, then smoothed the hair away from his forehead and kissed him one more time. “Sleep tight, okay? I’m here if you need me.”

Al nodded up at him, his eyes soft with drowsiness. “Daddy?” he said, as Harry was about to walk out the door.

“Yes?”

“Do you have your wand?”

Harry smiled and patted the pocket holding his wand.

“Can I see it?”

“It’s right here,” said Harry, pulling out his wand and showing it to him. “I’m not leaving it anywhere.”

“Okay,” said Albus as he wriggled down underneath his quilt, nearly obscuring his head. “Night night, Daddy.”

“Night Al,” said Harry. “Sweet dreams. I love you.”

He heard a mumble from under the quilt that sounded like “I love you, too.” Satisfied, he smiled softly to himself and shut the door.

* * *

Ginny was up waiting for him when he got back to their room.

“How many chapters of Nelson the Kneazle did you and Al read tonight?” she asked with a grin. “New record?”

“Nah,” said Harry as he climbed into bed. “We had a chat about my parents and their last moments instead.”

She immediately reached out, gripping his hand and running her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes at her touch as he relaxed against the pillow.

“So how did he take it?” she asked after a few moments. “Was he alright?”

“He seemed surprisingly unaffected by the whole death thing. He seemed more upset that they never got a chance to fight back.”

He thought about Al’s little face hidden under the covers. He was so perceptive for his age, yet still so young. 

“Are _you_ alright?” Ginny asked softly.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” said Harry, reaching out to touch her hand. She immediately took it and gently squeezed it, her fingers intertwining with his.

“You know we have to tell them eventually,” Ginny said after a few moments. “We can’t protect them forever.”

“I know,” said Harry. “It’s ridiculous.”

Ginny smiled at him, her eyes shining even in the darkness of their bedroom, and Harry knew she understood completely. He’d dedicated his life to fighting dark wizards and worked as hard as he could to give his children the childhood he never had. They were safe, surrounded by a loving family, free to run and play, and didn’t want for anything in the world. Yet despite all of that, they were still his kids. He couldn’t control their futures; he couldn’t keep them under his wing forever, and even if he could, they could never escape the stories of his past. They were part of him, and therefore part of his children. Right now, however, they were just stories about events his children could barely imagine. And Harry intended to keep it that way.

“Do you think we’re doing the right thing?” he asked. “Telling them so young?”

“How much did you tell and how much did Al ask on his own?” asked Ginny, grinning up at him.

“I think you know the answer to that,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and carding his fingers through her silky hair. 

Ginny chuckled. “I think it’s better they find out from you than anywhere else. Especially now that they’re asking about it.”

“I suppose you’re right,” said Harry. “But you should tell Lily, though.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you know what she’s like. She’s such a sweetheart; she’ll probably cry. And I hate making her cry. It makes me want to cry.”

“You old softie,” she said, leaning up to kiss him. “I’ve been telling you it’s okay to cry for how many years now?”

“Clearly not enough,” said Harry, grinning.

“Clearly,” said Ginny, smiling back. “But then again, it wouldn’t hurt to keep my reputation as the tough parent.”

“Says the woman who cried over burnt toast that one time.”

“Okay,” said Ginny, sitting up suddenly. Harry laughed and leaned back against the pillows. Ginny gave him a playful glare. “First of all, I was pregnant. Second of all, James made me that burnt toast all on his own. He was so proud of himself; you remember. He came in here with that plate of toast and that adorable little face of his going ‘Mummy! Mummy look! I made you bek-fast!’ And you expect me _not_ to get emotional?’”

“Oh, I remember,” said Harry, smirking up at her. “You were so proud you didn’t have the heart to chastise him for nearly burning the kitchen down while I was stopping Al from falling down the stairs again.”

“Whatever,” said Ginny, her eyes sparkling. “Let’s not pretend you’ve ever really been able to say no to them.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Harry. He folded his arms and turned away as Ginny burst out laughing. 

“And let’s not forget last year, when the boys went to visit Charlie and we sent Lily to the Burrow all by herself, and she wouldn’t let go of your leg…”

“Oh, god, don’t remind me,” said Harry, covering his face with his hands. He heard Ginny laugh, and soon she was on top of him, pulling his hands away from his face so she could kiss him. 

“What are you going to do when we send them all to Hogwarts?” she asked. 

“I try not to think about it,” he said. “We should keep them little forever.”

“Hmm,” said Ginny. “They might resent us for that.”

“I reckon you’re right,” Harry murmured with a smile as she leaned down to kiss him again, his heart swelling as he thought of their wonderful family.

“I think you should be the one to tell Lily about everything, though,” Ginny said. “When she asks, of course. It would mean more coming from you.”

“I suppose.”

“And you said Al wasn’t too bothered by it all, and he’s always been a bit more…sensitive to those kind of things than James. I’m sure Lily will be fine with it too. She’ll just give you a big hug and tell you not to be sad.”

“That sounds like Lily,” said Harry, grinning affectionately. “Though Al wasn’t totally unbothered. He wanted to make sure I had my wand with me.”

Almost instinctively, he reached under his pillow, just to make sure his wand was still there. Ginny lay down next to him and pulled him into her arms without a word. He buried his face in her hair and breathed deeply.

“Shall we go check on him?” she asked. “Make sure he got to sleep?”

Harry nodded. 

They walked as softly as they could down the hallway and opened Al’s door. Albus had always been a notoriously light sleeper, so even a door creak, much less a soft kiss on the forehead, could be enough to wake him. Thankfully, he stayed asleep as Harry and Ginny stepped into the room, his mouth slightly open and his grip on his dragon relaxed. Harry found it incredibly calming to watch his children sleep, to watch the tension of the day melt away and turn into deep, steady breathing. To know that they were completely at peace, and that he could make sure it stayed that way, if only for a little while. 

Ginny moved closer to Al’s bed and blew him a little kiss. Harry watched them both, a soft smile on his lips. Satisfied that Al would be just fine for the night, they closed the door behind them and went to check on James and Lily, who were both sleeping as soundly as their brother.

“I think they’re going to be okay,” said Ginny as they climbed back into bed.

“Yeah,” said Harry, reaching for her hand under the covers. “And if they need us, we’ll be right here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading to the end! Please let me know what you think!


End file.
